Recently President Obama’s re-election campaign announced its newest slogan: “Forward.” Huh? It sounds like they saw the MSNBC tagline “Lean Forward” and said, “let’s tone it down a little.”
The campaign thought “forward” was safe and unprovacative. However, the right had no trouble digging up ”Forward”‘s alleged link to socialism/Marxism/woo-woo-evil. The Obama campaign couldn’t see this coming?
I guess the thinking goes, “We can’t deliver any ‘change’ and there’s little ‘hope’ left that we can, but they can’t stop us from moving forward. Even if we do nothing we will be moving forward into the future. They cannot stop us from entering 2013, 2014, etc., right? Before we sign off on this, anyone know whether the Mayans were Republicans?”
The first time I heard about the new slogan, I instantly thought of The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror episode from 1996 where Senator Kang (an alien disguised as Bob Dole) delivers this speech:
My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball; but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!
Just for fun, let’s try to guess the alternate slogans they considered. The criteria: one-word, evoking some warm fuzzies, and must have an ‘o’ so we can stick the Obama logo in there. Here goes:
- Now – Vague, assertive, but almost too demanding. Plus, people may not be to happy with how things are ‘now.’
- Wow – Way too much enthusiasm for the results of the first term. It almost sounds ironic. It will work if you want to sell T-shirts to hipsters.
- Mom – Lots of warm fuzzies, but too easy to attack for obvious connotations of a nanny state and risks revival of yo-mama jokes.
- Hello – Nice, doesn’t promise anything. Rightwing nutjobs will say this proves you’re the antichrist because it has “hell” in it.
- Balloon - There’s a happy thought, and it gives you a double ‘o.’ Everybody likes balloons, right? Put that in the “maybe” pile.
- Moon - Nice image and a double-o again. M–O–O–N, that spells re-election. Werewolves are still popular. Problem is that it could encourage indecent exposure.
Any more suggestions?