Poll Indicates More Americans Believe in Aliens Than Believe in God

I don’t know how I came upon this line of thought today, but some will find it amusing. The reasoning might be more wiseass wordplay than profound epiphany, but here goes.
More Americans believe in aliens than believe in God. I can prove it. Behold:
According to a June 2011 Gallup poll, 92% of Americans believe in God.

I’m going to take the leap and assume that almost all of those people define God as the creator of the universe, of everything, etc., and that “everything” or “etc.” includes the Earth.

Let’s use the common understanding that aliens (extraterrestials, not foreign nationals) are defined as beings that are not from Earth. Putting common definition of “aliens” together with mainstream beliefs about God leads to:

All beings not from Earth = Aliens.
God created Earth = God is not from Earth.
God is, technically, an alien.

So if you believe in God, you must, therefore, believe in aliens, because God was/is not from Earth, hence “alien.” Now that is about 92% of the American population that must believe in aliens.

Since it is likely that at least one person believes in aliens, but not God, we can technically say that more people believe in aliens than God.

Now, I’d like to take a moment to anticipate some reactions to this exercise in linguistic tomfoolery. I could see some militant atheists forwarding this post along saying, “See, I told you so: belief in God is a silly as belief in aliens.” Not so fast. Belief in either is only silly to those arrogant enough to think they know everything there is to know about the entire universe so that they can come to the adamant conclusion about the impossibility of such beings ever existing in the past, present, or future.
On the other end of the spectrum, the more fundamentalist readers (not an oxymoron; don’t be mean) may even shout “blasphemy!” I say putting God in the category of alien is not a demotion. “Alien” is a broad term. It doesn’t mean only mortal aliens, or average aliens, or “Joe the Plumber” aliens. It can include an omnipotent being that just happens to not originate from Earth.
You say God is from Earth? Well, I think it takes an arrogant terracentricity to believe that God is from Earth. The very idea of an omnipotent creator God doesn’t mesh well with the idea that he/she/it is exclusive to Earth. I guess an acceptable “out” could be the theory that God is everywhere, and therefore, from everywhere. This I would rebut with assumptions in our definition of “alien,” that a non-alien must be only from Earth. Yes, I believe a human born on Mars would be an alien, and someday I hope to call such a person an alien directly to their face (of course, this requires some serious advances in space-faring technology and/or human longevity. Both of which would demand a significant upgrade in motivation. Psst, hey, buddy, did you hear there’s oil on Mars?)
This is getting a little to close to birthing a theology for a tounge-in-cheek post, so I’ll leave it at that. Although, if you are impressed, the WiseFather is available to be hired to design your new religion for an immodest fee.

  1. Finally! Thank you for clearing this up. I most certainly am NOT from Earth. I get quite testy when people imply that I am. Let me put it to you this way: Earth is the New Jersey of the Universe. I’m glad I made it, but I’m definitely glad it didn’t make me. Well done!

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