For some reason, former major league baseball star and notorious loudmouth John Rocker will be coming to your TV this fall. He has been given the opportunity to compete on “Survivor.” No, America and CBS, you don’t need John Rocker on “Survivor.” This is the lowest you have reached with your stunt casting. Rocker probably did it because he is currently selling his autobiography. At least Jeff Kent loved the game and really wanted to play.
For those that have never heard of Rocker (or have mercifully forgotten) here are some of his greatest hits.
- On playing in New York: “Imagine having to take the [Number] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you’re [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with kids. It’s depressing.”
- On Disney World: “Well, the people who dress up in the outfits are all f–ing f–gots, man. They’re all f–ing f–gots.”
- On the gun rights stopping Nazis: “Absolute certainties are a rare thing in this life, but one I think can be collectively agreed upon is the undeniable fact that the Holocaust would have never taken place had the Jewish citizenry of Hitler’s Germany had the right to bear arms and defended themselves with those arms.”
- More recently, on race and the George Zimmerman trial: “If he was simply known as Jorge Zimmerman, this whole saga would have ceased to exist many, many months ago.”
“Well the guys I know who were thought to be clean that I know weren’t I’m certainly not going to out in a ridiculous forum like this. As far as the handling by MLB it seems there doing the best they can. One way to fix the problem for good is to have a positive PED test nullify a player’s contract which would give the team the opportunity to void all fiscal responsibility. That would grab your attention as a player.”
Finally, if you want to watch him on “Survivor” here’s my take on his chances. Either he will lose quickly or go really far into the game, as a common strategy is to take the most hated person with you to the end so the others will vote against them (and for you).
It’s also possible he could just quit. He’s probably not an actual fan of the show (like Jeff Kent) and will not be motivated to endure those conditions long. After all, his book will get just about the same publicity no matter how long he is in the game. So you better tune in soon or you might miss him, if it was ever possible to “miss” John Rocker.
I doubt it went well. Rocker was seen in Cooperstown during Hall of Fame induction week, holding a pathetic raffle. On the other hand, it does look like he lost some weight.
Is that raffle a bad joke or is he that desperate?
Here, have some Rocker satire: